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miercuri, 23 aprilie 2014

O casnicie de 70 de ani partea II

          Helen şi Kenneth Felumlee au trăit împreună 70 de ani şi, dacă e să-i credem pe copiii lor, în fiecare dimineaţă, la micul dejun, s-au ţinut de mână. În tot acest timp au fost nedespărţiţi, iar apropiaţii şi-i amintesc ca pe doi oameni buni, generoşi, implicaţi în viaţa familiei şi a comunităţii. După şapte decenii în care au avut împreună opt copii, Helen Felumlee s-a stins din viaţă la vârsta de 92 de ani. Peste 15 ore, a murit şi soţul ei, din cauze naturale. Povestea lor de dragoste şi-a găsit astfel un deznodământ pe care, dacă l-am fi citit într-un roman, l-am fi considerat nerealist şi siropos.
           Helen şi Kenneth s-au îndrăgostit în adolescenţă, când o prietenă le-a făcut cunonştinţă. După trei ani în care au fost prieteni, cei doi şi-au minţit părinţii că pleacă într-o excursie şi, cu puţinii bani pe care îi aveau în buzunar, au plătit o taxă pentru a se putea căsători, cu două zile înainte ca tânărul să împlinească 21 de ani, vârsta legală a căsătoriei. Din 1944, când au devenit soţ şi soţie, Helen şi Kenneth şi-au întemeiat o familie cu 8 copii, pe care nu le-a fost uşor să-i crească. Bărbatul a lucat ca inspector tehnic la o companie de căi ferate, iar apoi şi-a deschis un service auto, a lucrat ca poştaş şi ca profesor în cadrul bisericii metodiste din zonă. Soţia lui, care a ţinut pe picioare gospodăria şi copiii, a fost la rândul ei implicată în viaţa bisericii din comunitate şi era cunoscută ca un ajutor de bază pentru cei din oraşul Nashport. În anii 80, când copiii s-au făcut mari şi au plecat la casele lor, cei doi soţi şi-au redescoperit pasiunea pentru călătorii şi au făcut un tur aproape complet al statelor americane, cu autobuzul.
          În urmă cu 2 ani şi jumătate, lui Kenneth i-a fost amputat un picior, ca urmare a unor probleme de sănătate. În tot acest răstimp, soţia a fost cea care l-a îngrijit, până când, în urmă cu aproape o lună, a căzut la pat. Helen a murit pe 12 aprilie şi, potrivit familiei, din acel moment bărbatul a slăbit văzând cu ochii, încetând din viaţă 15 ore mai târziu. Rudele care le-au fost aproape spun că cei doi au murit de bătrâneţe şi că bărbatul nu a mai putut trăi fără soţia sa, de care a fost alături o viaţă întreagă.



Sursa: aici

marți, 8 aprilie 2014

luni, 1 iulie 2013

Marriage is a thousand little things

Reblogged from here

"I do," is one of the shortest sentences in our English language and yet it carries a promise that's too vast to be measured by man.

It's not one thing we do, but a thousand little things that make up the sum of our vows.

Long-lasting love doesn't happen by accident. We don't find ourselves holding hands after twenty-five years with the one that we love by pure chance. Love is deliberate, it's intentional, it's purposeful, and in the end it's worth every minute that we give of ourselves to another.

Marriage is a thousand little things. It's giving up your right to be right in the heat of an argument. It's forgiving another when they let you down. It's loving someone enough to step down so they can shine. It's friendship. It's being a cheerleader and trusted confidant. It's a place of forgiveness that welcomes one home, and arms they can run to in the midst of a storm. It's grace.

It's giving of yourself tirelessly down paths you'd never imagine to travel. Through sickness and pain, poverty and loss, it's carrying the weight of another. It's being the smile they see in the morning, and the body they hold close at night. It's pure love. It's standing together in the face of adversity. It's riding alongside each other in a battle that threatens to tear down your marriage and seeks to grab hold of your faith. It's strength under pressure.

It's listening to the heart of another and understanding their pain. It's offering words of encouragement when they need it most. It's walking hand-in-hand in the park, and a gentle kiss in the pouring rain. It's laughing together.

It's endless compassion.

Marriage is ordained by an almighty God, and when we live out our vows according to His incredible wisdom and grace...it never fails.

You are loved by an almighty God,

This is how you spell love to your spouse

Reblogged from here

A couple of weeks ago, Gail and I had the privilege of attending the Love and Respect Conference in Dallas. It started on Friday evening and ended Saturday afternoon. Emerson and his wife, Sarah, taught it. They are both excellent communicators.
Although we have read numerous books on marriage and attended many seminars, this one was truly unique. In fact, it is probably the most helpful one we have ever experienced.

In the book (as well as the seminar), Emerson quotes a paraphrase of 1 Corinthians 7:28: “If you marry, you have not sinned, but you will have trouble.” Unlike Hollywood, the Bible is very realistic. Marriage is difficult, in large part because men and women are so different.
Emerson explains “The Crazy Cycle” in both the book and the conferecne. I found this particularly helpful: Without love, she reacts. Without respect, he reacts. The husband and the wife then unconsciously get trapped in this cycle of reacting to one another rather than giving to their partner what they need.
Emerson uses two acronyms to explain to men and women how to provide what their partner needs. To the men, he uses the acronym of C-O-U-P-L-E to remind them what their wives need. This is how you spell love to your wife:
  • Closeness—She wants you to be close.
  • Openness—She wants you to open up to her.
  • Understanding—Don’t try to fix her; just listen.
  • Peacemaking—She wants you to say, “I’m sorry.”
  • Loyalty—She needs to know you’re committed.
  • Esteem—She wants you to honor and cherish her.
To the women, he uses the acronym of C-H-A-I-R-S to remind them what their husbands needs. This is how you spell respect to your husband:
  • Conquest—Appreciate his desire to work and achieve.
  • Hierarchy—Appreciate his desire to protect and provide.
  • Authority—Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead.
  • Insight—Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel.
  • Relationship—Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.
  • Sexuality—Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy.
The book is very balanced. Both partners are responsible for the health of the relationship and either one of them can take the initiative to break out of the crazy cycle. This book provides readers with both the motivation and the tools to do so.

miercuri, 22 mai 2013

When I Don’t Feel Like It


A Testimony from Kim…
When I am feeling lonely, discouraged, frustrated, and disrespected in my marriage, and totally unloved by my husband (of twenty five years), I focus on God's command to respect him ANYWAY. I focus on the truth that my respect will bless my husband ....regardless of whether or not he responds with the love I need from him. I remind myself that I am to respect him in every sense of the word…I know that God is blessed by my obedience. I know that He smiles and blesses me when I trust Him with my heart and feelings. In those moments, I know that my reward will be in heaven.

While storing up treasures in heaven feels great, that is NOT what keeps me going! I do not use respectful behavior as a sort of "works" to win brownie points with God. Not on my life!

When I trust God to protect my heart and fill my love tank in the face of disrespect, when I step out in faith and positively apply respect when I don't feel like it or don’t feel my husband deserves it, when I obey my Father's command to respect, I feel peace and love. A sort of warm little hug of encouragement to hang in there from my heavenly husband. That is what keeps me focused on the Rewarded Cycle! And those little God-hugs remind me to dwell on the times my good-willed husband has responded to my respectful behavior in amazing, incredibly loving, God inspired ways. (Kim)

Taken from the Respectfully Yours DVD study



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